As we embrace the possibility and chance to start over that 2017 offers negativity may or may not be on your radar, either is perfect. In the last blog we looked at how we can protect ourselves from the negativity of others and I promised then that we would look at our own negativity in the next one: so here goes and lets begin by forgiving ourselves and letting ourselves off of the hook, because everyone (if we are really honest with ourselves) is capable of both positivity and negativity and the crux of it is simply that we get to make a choice, a choice to feel good or to feel bad.
Meet my personal negativity hoover - he is a red Henry the Hoover and, whilst he looks kinda cute, he does quite literally suck. He sucks the joy, opportunity and positivity out of a situation. What might your positivity hoover look and be like? It may not be comfortable to acknowledge your personal positivity hoover and it may feel counter-intuitive to give it time and energy, but as with all positive and awesome change the first step is to become aware of what’s happening and from that awareness comes power and possibility. So here goes, give yourself some time and space (hangovers allowing) to ponder your positivity hoover because how much more amazing will 2017 be if your hoover spends more time in the cupboard.
My top tips for managing our personal positivity hoovers:
1. Cut yourself some slack, life is about contrast, some positive and some negative, and each exists because of its opposite. We only really know what we truly want because we have experienced the opposite. It’s ok not to feel on top of the world all the time and its ok to have the occasional pity party- but it may not be a party you want to take up permanent residence at.
2. Acknowledge your power and begin to accept the fact that wherever you are or whatever you find yourself doing, it’s because you chose that situation.Now
this may be an ouch moment but it’s ultimately empowering, I promise. You do have control of your life. That means you control your thoughts, your feelings, and your actions.
3. Give yourself some space and time to get real clear on how you do want to think and therefore feel, and once you’ve decided, decide again and again and again until that choice becomes your delightful default position.
4. Allow yourself time to become really acquainted with your feelings: they are our best guide as to where you are with your thoughts and your quest for positivity- if you feel good you are on a positive track and if you feel bad you are on a negative one and you can always change track.
5. Don’t waste energy on beating yourself up if you fall off the positivity wagon: there will be another along in a while and you’ve got a seat reserved. If a negative thought reappears time and time again, it’s time to challenge it directly, because ultimately it is a gift; it may uncover a limiting belief that you are ready to get rid of. So grab a pen and paper and write the negative thought down and get ready to bust it wide open. Ask yourself this question is there any evidence of this in my current reality? If there is then you have something solid to you can take action on and if there isn’t you can chose a new thought when that one pops up next time. The fab news is that we can’t think more than one thought at any one time- so pick a good ‘un and keep coming back to it till you’ve practised that new neural pathway so often that it becomes your default point.
6.Finally· Tapping on the karate chop
a super quick and easy way to bust negativity is to tap on it and here’s how to do it (check out the tapping diagram below);pointsay ‘even though I feel really negative I love and accept myself’ repeat this three times.
· Then tap on the following points saying ‘all of this negativity, it doesn’t feel at all good’ between your eyes, besides the eye, under the eye, under the nose, the chin, the collar bone
and under the arm.
And voila say hello to positivity or repeat!
So what now: you might be feeling as if you have quite a task in front of you and it might feel overwhelming - remember nothing has to happen all at once: becoming aware of and choosing alternative thoughts is all part of the big joyous journey of life (here’s a secret - no one ever gets it right all of the time).
And if negativity, both your own and that belonging to other people, is a biggie for you may want some assistance and I'd love to help - why not book your complimentary40 minute5. -Agree together whether I can help and the form
happier, calmer, more in control and back on track
4. -Share a fantastically simple technique that you can use at any time to feel
3. -Identify and start to clear the blocks that you are currently facing
2. -Get absolutely specific about the positivity that will propel you towards the future you deserve
1. -Establish the negativity that you no longer want to impact your life
During this complimentary session we will:
Discovery Session by calling me on 07957416962 or emailing me @ firstname.lastname@example.org will take as well as
how many subsequent sessions might be needed to achieve your goals.
Wishing you happy thoughts and an awesome New Year.
Please share with fellow humans :-)
Louise Alexander Emotional Wellbeing Therapist
At the Heart of Health