Negativity is an experience that can affect all of us and I want to say straight up that there is no judgement here: it just so happens that the focus of this blog is external negativity; in the next blog we will visit internally generated negativity (my personal negativity hoover happens to be a red Henry Hoover just in case you were wondering) but it really helps to be able separate what’s ours and what is other first. So here goes :-)
If you find yourself surrounded by negativity, it can be very challenging to try and stay positive. We know we want to keep our focus on what feels good, and yet we might encounter others who are heavily focused on what's not so great about their life experience at this point in time. It can get very draining trying to fight that influence!
A great place to start is to acknowledge our power and accept the fact that wherever we are or whatever we find ourselves doing, it is because we chose that situation. Of course it is not possible to control the actions or speech of others, but we do have control over ourselves. That means we control our thoughts, our feelings, and our actions- a truth that doesn't always feel as simple as it sounds. In order to step into our power, we ultimately have to admit that we choose to be where we are, wherever that may be- another truth that sounds delightfully simple but can take some tussling with.
If you are stuck in a job you don't like, you could acknowledge that you have the choice to stay there or leave. You may not like the consequences of the choice of leaving - being without a job and without income, but you still have that choice. And that choice to stay for your own reasons, will put you back into your power and aid the realisation that you have control over your life. By owning that decision, you have the ability to make changes.
The next thing to do is to set your circumstances up for the best and most successful outcome. You can decide ahead of time how you wish to feel and whom you choose to be in this situation. As an example, before work, you can say to yourself, I create my own reality. I shall focus on feeling good because I choose to feel peaceful. It makes no difference what anyone else says or does. It is in these very situations that using EFT can be most helpful.
Before we get to the EFT affirmations, it’s really helpful to have awareness of the types of topics that act as triggers or positivity hoovers. Once we know what our hot buttons are, we can decide to refrain from any discussions of these topics, or to engage in them only when we can say something about them that makes us feel good, and the gift is that no matter how powerful the positivity hoover we can always find something to appreciate about a situation or a person.
As soon as you become aware of negativity around you, you will want to have a power phrase that you have determined ahead of time that you say silently to yourself, which will remind you to veer away from the negativity that may be surrounding you. With these phrases, you can tap any point (there is a handy tapping points diagram below) as you say these to yourself: "I'm so happy I can dwell in my own world where. . ." You will fill in what you desire or what you choose to believe about the issues being discussed. It's a fact that our beliefs create our own realities, as they are the filters through which we view the world. If others are speaking negatively about their relationships, for example, you can counter that by silently affirming: "I'm so happy I can dwell in my own world where I can choose peaceful and loving relationships."
You can say, "They are entitled to their opinions but I choose to put my focus on thoughts that make me feel good." You can also send love and peace to the situation or person. Think about some aspect of the person that you can appreciate: it could be their sense of style or the colours they choose to wear. Pay attention to your thoughts. Allowing yourself to get upset by someone else's negativity indicates you've let them get to you. Don't beat yourself up for allowing that to happen. Tapping can do wonders to help you forgive yourself and release those upset feelings and let them go.
So what now: you might be feeling as if you have quite a task in front of you and it might feel overwhelming - remember nothing has to happen all at once, becoming aware of and choosing alternative thoughts is all part of the big joyous journey of life (here’s a secret - no one ever gets it right all of the time).
And if negativity, both your own and that belonging to other people, is a biggie for you may want some assistance and I'd love to help - why not book your complimentary 40 minute Discovery Session by calling me on 07957416962 or emailing me @ firstname.lastname@example.org.
During this complimentary session we will:
1. -Establish the negativity that you no longer want to impact your life
2. -Get absolutely specific about the positivity that will propel you towards the future you deserve
3. -Identify and start to clear the blocks that you are currently facing
4. -Share a fantastically simple technique that you can use at any time to feel
happier, calmer, more in control and back on track
5. -Agree together whether I can help and the form that help will take as well as
how many subsequent sessions might be needed to achieve your goals.